With summer quickly approaching and restrictions slowly lifting, many of us want to drop the controllers and dive into the briny deep. But what if I told you that you could have a (somewhat) pleasant beach experience without getting sand in your unmentionables?
Epic Games
Ever wanted to be a shark? Random, right? But ManEater will satisfy your summer cravings (at least till Shark Week rolls around). In this lighthearted game narrated by Chris Parnell (Jerry, from Rick and Morty), you play a shark growing up in the bayou who takes on predators and humans alike. You will grow stronger from consuming different fish, evolve your abilities for maximum munching, and even get to bust up a few beach parties. It’s almost like a pandemic-free summer, right?
The Indie Game Website
Instead of blistering on the beach “irl”, swim through nuclear waste, flop around golf courses, and interrupt beach parties (they are definitely not social distancing!). I’ve played through the game so quickly and so intensely that I didn’t take a lot of screenshots. It’s difficult to remember a game that was this enjoyable. It’s definitely a GTA/Far Cry-esque game but as a shark.
The only difficulty I’ve had thus far is some of the controls for fighting other fish or predators. It takes a lot of getting used to but is swiftly managed with practice.
It seems that everyone is trying to break into the video game market these days. With countless consoles, platforms, game options, and player modes, the competition is fierce to have the next hot ticket item.
Not sure what’s going on here tbh.
Amazon, in a never-ending attempt to rule the world, has entered the ring with titles Crucible and New World, which will be releasing in May 2020. Their goal will definitely be to appeal to hard-core gamers using the cloud-gaming processing system. Basically, games need consoles (phone, PC, XBox) to perform the duties of downloads, patches, and installments. Instead of utilizing a physical console, cloud gaming uses a corporate data farm that practically does the hard work of your console. Meaning you can play the games from the provider on cheaper devices. Cheaper devices=more players.
So will Amazon games prevail or will it fall flat against global gaming expectations? To answer this question, we’ll pose a brief breakdown.
The Games
You log into Amazon all the time. There’s a specially curated set of gaming recommendations: headsets, light attachments, maybe even PC fans to cool down your engine. You have access to new games, classics, and any console imaginable. In another corner, you also have Twitch, where you can watch other people play yout favorite games while you…do whatever one does while watching a stream. The subscriptions and money flying around has to be tempting.
Does this not look like an Overwatch character? Still pretty cool though.
Is it really a suprise that Amazon would throw money at the multi-billion dollar industry of gaming?
But the starter games for Project Tempo (the cloud-gaming platform’s code name) seem…generic.
Typical battle royale
Crucible. When I hear the word, I instantly recall The Crucible, a play by Arthur Miller based on the Salem Witch Trials. It’s hard to think of a Fortnight/Overwatch combo game while all I’m thinking of is a bunch of foolish Puritan girls pinching each other and fainting in a courtroom in 17th century Massachusetts (for those outside of the U.S., The Crucible is typically–but not always– taught to teens at the high school level).
But enough with the name calling. While the PvP sci-fi game seems like it may offer excellent fighting and maybe some decent multiplayer, the game just seems like another battle royale set-up that gamers just can’t seem to get enough of.
If an island could have coronovirus, it would probably look like this.
The second title to be released in May is New World. The official site sets the game up: “Under the surface of Aeternum’s breathtaking landscape lay the seeds of an ancient evil that plots to erase all traces of humanity from its shores. Warriors of bygone ages, doomed adventurers, and creatures of legend have all succumbed to its corruption. It must be stopped.” All of this seems suspiciously close to the plot of GreedFall, which I just finished up on PS4.
Island from GreedFall. Look familiar?
Both involve islands, colonists, “taming” the wilderness, uncovering secrets of the island, and fighting an unseen and unknown evil. Oh yeah, GreedFall also takes place in an alternate, 17th century world of colonizing forces driven by…get it…greed and the need for resources and power.
The System
But it’s not just the game that counts, but the platform that will be running it. It’s no secret that Google’s Stadia has fumbled into the gaming world and stayed down. While the system boasts a futuristic gaming experience, consumers have been hesitant to hop on the Stadia train. On a page for purchasing, the company claims: “There’s no need to overpay for expensive hardware. With Stadia, you get up to 4K 60 FPS2 gameplay on TVs3 without the hassle of time‑consuming game downloads or in‑game updates. And you can take your favorite games with you on your laptop, tablet, or phone4 as long as you have Wi‑Fi.5 “
Many of Stadia’s players complain about limited game options, lag, and poor reviews. While Stadia has several cloud-gaming competitors with better gaming options, it doesn’t change the fact that developers and investors marketed the system as a new gaming experience but recieved a “lag-ridden mess” instead.
This controller looks kind of flimsy…not gonna lie.
Stadia’s release should have been a warning for anyone delving into the world of cloud-gaming or system development but will Amazon learn from the mistakes of predecessors or will it make the same mistakes? And at what cost?
Amazon seems to be keeping mum about some of the technical aspects of the releases, but we’ll definitely be keeping a sharp eye on any more information that they’re willing to share.
Last year, WHO (World Health Organization) added gaming addiction to it’s list of 11th Revision of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) . Gaming addiction is defined by WHO as a “characterized by impaired control over gaming, increasing priority given to gaming over other activities to the extent that gaming takes precedence over other interests and daily activities, and continuation or escalation of gaming despite the occurrence of negative consequences.”
While some gamers rolled their eyes at the thought of a medical addiction defining one of their favorite past times, others used the WHO definition of gaming addiction to discourage parts of the population from indulging in their ‘addiction’. But the tides seem to be turning.
Actual photo of me during quarantine
Children were warned by their parents to stay off of games because of the potential harm it can cause and the fact it may take away from study time. While parenting styles and techniques differ, so does the conflicting sciences of gaming. Some experts argue that gaming can lead to addiction like gambling while others say that gaming is a great way to relieve stress, practice making decisions, and experiencing in-game consequences.
Psychology Today reports that gaming allows the younger generation to practice autonomy over their decisions after having every action dictated by authority figures at school or home. The article then continues to say “Of course, none of this is to say video games are a good substitution—quite the opposite. While a well-designed game attempts to satisfy these needs, it can’t come close to the deep satisfaction that real life and real human connection can provide. No game can give a child the feeling of competence that comes from accomplishing a difficult task or learning a new skill on their own accord.”
Then: coronovirus.
Don’t. Shake. Hands. Like. Ever.
With thousands trapped inside their homes, many people who were originally apprehensive of gaming have changed their minds. Nintendo Switches have been selling out of stores, leaving retailers struggling to keep the shelves full. Activision Blizzard, Amazon, Jam City, Riot Games, Twitch, YouTube, and Zynga have joined together under the hashtag #PlayApartTogether in conjunction with WHO to create a new online movement. This movement encourages those stuck at home or those participating in social distancing to play together online instead of exposing themselves and others to the coronavirus in their areas.
Many critics are calling out WHO’s hypocrisy at this 180 turn by discussing WHO’s loose definition of gaming addiction which does not include hours but instead only discusses that gaming may interfere with other activities. Now WHO wants you to understandably follow health guidelines but also keep in touch socially with your friends and family…through gaming.
Ah. Sweet isolation.
While many may be taking social distancing as a joke, I have mad respect for those of you taking it seriously. So stay inside and play a video game. You can even participate in the #PlayApartTogether. Who knows. When all this is over, will WHO reclassify a new wave of gamers as the new addicts? Will companies try to make games more addicting? Only time will tell.
After careful consideration, we as a society have realized that our current attire is just not cutting it. What did our ancestors wear in their times of pandemic? After playing games like Kingdom Come: Deliverance and A Plague Tale: Innocence, we’ve got some ideas. Here are a few articles of clothing that would make a wicked comeback in this time of peril. Introducing: The Plague Spring Collection 2020.
Bird Man Mask
It’s hard to dismiss the iconic bird-like mask of the Black Death of the 1300s. Except this particular design didn’t come around till the seventeenth century. Different suits have existed for centuries in several different forms. Even medieval doctors realized that there needed to be a barrier between the sickly outside world and remaining in a healthy state. The reasons for the shape varies, but one article states:
“According to one source, people once believed that the plague was spread by birds. Therefore, the use of such a mask may have stemmed from the belief that the disease could be removed from a patient by transferring it to the garment. The mask also had a utilitarian function, as the beak was packed with strong, pleasant smelling substances, such as ambergris, mint, or rose petals. These were meant to ward the disease away because people believed miasma (“bad air”) spread the disease . “
So, are you brave enough to rock this edgy look? If not, here are a few others to try out.
Yas, queen!
Totally Tunics
There’s no need to dress too fancy when you are confined to your home for an unspecified amount of time. The perfect, effortless garment that you need for the season is the completely versatile and unisex tunic!
So they must be expensive and difficult to make, right? Wrong! Experts state “Such tunics are made either by folding over a long piece of fabric and cutting a hole in the center of the fold for the neck; or by sewing two pieces of fabric together at the shoulders, leaving a gap for the neck. Sleeves, which weren’t always part of the garment, could be cut as part of the same piece of fabric and sewn closed or added later. Tunics fell to at least the thighs. Though the garment might be called by different names at different times and places, the construction of the tunic was essentially the same throughout these centuries.”
These were all the rage in the medieval ages, my friend. They were perfect for work in the fields or home. In the public square or to bed. The material was typically wool but the designs and lengths could vary. Women traditionally wore longer garments, but you don’t have to adhere to those outdated stereotypes! Short or long, embrace that tunic! Slit it up the sides for a breezy, beachy look (not that you should be at the beach…celebrating Spring Break...FLORIDA). Or belt it and pair with a cozy, long sleeved undershirt for those early spring snow storms.
#tunictuesday
Pinterest and other online sources are available if you would like to purchase one online. There’s a huge market for that kind of stuff, apparently. Or you can make your one and add embellishments like ribbons or details to EXPRESS YOUR UNIQUE IDENTITY. Fashion Nova can’t beat this sick piece.
Saturdays with the boys will be a lot more comfortable!
Hoods…but not Hoodies
Mix up your head-wear with a pointed hood to protect you from the sun or to keep you anonymous as you traverse the mall when you’re supposed to be self-isolating. These hoods provide a quick, easy, adjustment for protection or the coziness of a hoodie, without changing your outfit.
Hoods, like tunics, were unisex in medievel times. So why not indulge your loved one with the perfect accessory?
Perfect hood for acorn gathering!
Some hoods for women can even drift into the ‘cap’ style of head-covering. Save a good hair day for when life returns to normal. Instead, slap a cap on and go about your day in style. Or you could even opt for a later era French hood, popularized by the infamous Anne Boleyn.
Beyonce has nothing on the French hood, hun.
Girdles…but not like that
While the definition of girdles has changed to mean a corset-like garment that holds in fat, historically, it was a garment more like a belt. One article says “They might be made from rope, fabric cords, or leather. Occasionally belts might have buckles, but it was more common for poorer folk to tie them instead. Laborers and peasants not only tucked up their clothing with their girdles, but they also attached tools, purses, and utility pouches to them.”
Slayeth, king! Wait, was that heresy?
What better way to adjust your tunic than to cinch it in with a fancy…rope. For those late Walmart runs, it may be hard to reach into your pocket, get out money, hand sanitizer, your keys. Your germy hands rummage around your pocket or purse until every surface is counted with the pathogen. You’re practically a corpse walking.
Yes, that brown garment is the girdle.
Picture this: all of these important items are simply attached to your girdle! With a swift hand, you are in and out of the store with all the toilet paper you need. Clearly, the multi-purpose girdle is the absolute finishing touch to the collection.
If you are ready to join the future by embracing the past, gird your loins in this collection today! As tomorrow, you may perish of the pestilence.
Story Quest Decoded 